The Slow Death Of Sparks In Love

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Sacrifices aren’t always great and neither are adjustments. They are desirable only when the cause is worth it especially in a relationship. It’s sometimes the human tendency to escape a glaring naked truth that stands in front of you giving you signs. Telling you that your heart isn’t happy and you need to stop faking it.

And you want to escape the whole big vicious cycle of a broken heart n a broken relationship that you have nurtured so lovingly. Trying to avoid the nights that will follow in tears and ache. Trying to glorify the concept of ‘don’t give up ‘ .
And the worst part , you don’t want to blame the other person. That moment from where you just don’t feel any anger towards them makes you realise how powerful an emotion like anger is. How important it is to sometimes confront, fight, argue , shout , cry with each other. You realise how silence and pretentious smiles drive you further apart, making the whole structure hollow from inside. You realise how things are moving just out of habit and either of you finds it a Herculean effort to break away from the habit.

And then you know what you feel. NOTHING… You no longer expect anything from them and I meant it . You don’t expect . Their actions either of irresponsibility, of utter denial or even of love mean nothing to you know. No joy and no anger. You almost feel meditative. Because you know the person inside out and you know they just don’t have the need of the will to change .
But wait ! You don’t want to change them too . Then what is the option ??

To not give up or to just slip into oblivion !

That my friend is the question?

Many Hues Of Love

Sometimes, intimacy isn’t closeness but distance. Sometimes intimacy is being someone’s background: It is not being there and letting them be there instead.
It takes a terrifying amount of trust to do this: I will step back now and let you leave me, let you be who you are without me

💞

The Cost Of Independence

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So its independence day … M sorry i don’t belong to the category of those people who set their profile pic as the tricolour only on independence and republic day …n i doesn’t wish others happy independence day….. I belong to that category of an indian who is happy on independence day , but more worried ….. Worried for this child who was born 68 this independence day i wanna take time out to say something… INDIA – a nation that stirred million souls . A land that produced men and women of the most exalted character. I believe India is not just a nation, its a way of life , an emotion , a spirit … “the spirit of India” that binds 100 million people together, despite having nothing in common. A day to take into account the pains , the struggles, the humiliations and the glories of the world’s LARGEST AND LEAST LIKELY DEMOCRACY . ….. There have been brutal conflicts rocking this giant nation and there have been extraordinary individuals and institutions who have held it together…. despite differences of religion, caste language, festivals , colour , race INDIA EXISTS AND SHINES …… INDIA’S EXISTENCE AS ONE SINGLE COUNTRY IS NOTHING SHORT OF A MIRACLE….. India creates magic with democracy, rule of law , individual freedom n diversity ….. WOW, what a place to b an intellectual. !!!! I wouldn’t mind being born 10 times to rediscover India… We criticize the system , the govt all year long …..but today i wanna say …. As a nation we haven’t failed ….. Our achievements are commendable…. I am not worried about the economy , we have the best think tank. Our soldiers are doin a great job …SALUTES UNTO U ….. what i am worried about is the DEGRADED MORAL FIBRE OF OUR SOCIETY …. OUR GOVTS HAVEN’T FAILED ….BUT WE AS HUMANS , AS CITIZENS, AS INDIANS HAVE FAILED ….. TO RESPECT THIS HARD EARNED FREEDOM , TO RESPECT THE SANCTITY OF PARLIAMENT AND CHOOSE FOR INDIA …. TO RESPECT OUR WOMEN …. TO GET INDEPENDENCE FROM THE SICK STANDARDS OF OUR BACKWARD SOCIETY …… our place in the world is high …our youth is reverred for their intelligence, our golden history is a legacy of glory ….but we are hated …yes hated n shunned at for our HYPOCRISY, INSENSITIVITY, BACKWARDNESS & CHEAP MENTALITY ….. SO let this day b a pledge to get independence…. From all this …coz. IS DESH KA BAHUT KUCH HO SAKTA HAI ….N WE OWE IT TO INDIA ….TO OUR FREEDOM

OBHARAT BHAGYA VIDHATA UTH …MAT MOOND RE APNI AANKHEIN UTH …..
ZAMEEN O AASMAN KI KASAM TUJHE , THAAM WATAN KA HAATH UTH …..

PUNJAB, SINDH , GUJRAT MARATHA…
DRAVID UTKAL BANGA …..
GAANI HAI TUJHE JAI GAATHA UTH…..
O BHARAT BHAGYA VIDHATA UTH 🌕

Writer’s Block

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With each passing day, these words appear dull to me,
Dull like a dry patch of grass in the green expanse .
This paper stares at me with a sullen face ,
Sullen like all blood has been sucked through its veins ,
The pen no longer moves in the curves of slender bodies ,
It loiters , aimlessly in endless doodles ,
While the mind roams in a blind space …

Every answer to your tiredness first asks you a question ,
What ! Oh vermin are you tired off ,
And you cease to say ,’I am tired ‘
But I am tired ,
Of a journey sans destination ,
Of a path devoid of road ,
If steps around a huge circle taking me nowhere .

There have been pebbles I have picked en route ,
But the burden breaks my heart at times ,
And then there are mines ,
Which never cease to blast ,
Over and over again ,
With the same intensity ,
The damages sometimes everlasting .

And for a change ,
For once ,
I am not going to end the poem with a hope !

© Ambika (Athena)

To The Man Who Has Loved Me Even When He Hated Me

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They say friendships grow into love ,
But it was a friendship day two years ago that casted a spell on us ,
We fell in love first and became friends much later ,
You said it felt like magic ,
It still feels the same ,
You said I am like your mirror ,
You still say the same .

That time we used to fight like nuts,
Well it’s funny … our well behaved fights,
How we never raise the decibels .

That time we cried , remembering old childhood pains ,
And then learning gradually to be comfortable in the crowd,

That time we shed the walls one by one ,
Like clothes on a wintery night,
Baring our souls , wounds and scars ,
Open to each other .

That time we grew tired of each other ,
And all those “butterflies in the stomach ” flew away ,
And yet we found solace in the old school kind of love ,

That time when everything was just about to end ,
Like a snap ,
And yet by some miracle we found our light again ,

And all those times we clung to each other despite this maddening distance,
Despite the fear of your safety,
Despite the never ending wait ,
Despite all the flaws we have ,
For all those times its worth it .

For all the times that you stood by me ,
Reading my mind without a spoken word ,
Believing in my strength , despite of knowing all my weakness ,
Loving me every way I crave ,
For all those times I thank you .

You thank me for all that I do for you ,
All I wanna say is ,
For US a thousand times over .

I will be waiting for you every time .

P.s – to the man who has loved me even when he has hated me .