The Tough Goodbyes

You want me to come or not,” she said over the phone. Tears trickled down her cheeks as a turmoil of emotions crossed over her. Worried for the results, desperate to meet him for the last time before his deployment and all this pent up frustration seeping within them. It would be a wait of one year before they see each other again. The last 50 days had been her dream come true. The moments of love, joy, laughter they shared together, the places they travelled together, they little fights they had , the hundred pictures the clicked , her big success, his birthday celebration, the Valentine’s day , she couldn’t have asked for more. Every day she had known him more , she had loved him deeper.

As always there was no point of being angry with him. He would be gone in an hour and she hated regrets and how good he was at melting her heart .

She went rushing to meet him.

***
Across her he sat, dragging his chair closer, he held her hands. The warmth was enough to fill her heart and make her eyes rain.
“Baby I am sorry,” he said with moist eyes . I am leaving today my love. We won’t be meeting for another year . Will you bid me farewell with these tears ? Won’t I be able to carry your smile in my heart? You have to be strong , for me and for us”, he said while lifting her face to meet his gaze.

“How will I live without you?”, she asked trying to avoid looking into his eyes. “Who will I look at , whom shall I annoy , who will listen to my everlasting lectures of ” you know how … ? ” , who will hug me when I am cold, who will laugh at my devilish tricks, who will dance with me ,and lift me when I throw up totally drunk ,who will order the food for me, who will cover me when anyone eyes me , who will give me those lovely roses?” , she said in a single breath.
                                              
He didn’t have an answer. He just had his arms to offer. The arms that were her HOME . Arms that covered her naked soul, her tattered heart , her scars ,her bruises … arms that healed her. Arms that put her to sleep. A sleep where there were dreams … fairytales that she told him. Fairytales that he made her live.

***
And who will give me these little cute gifts? Who will fold up my clothes while I mess up my whole room, help me shop for formals I never wear, enlighten me about so many things I don’t know about,
read me stories, poems from her favourite books and tell me to quit smoking??? , “his questions were these. Questions that he would never ask. Questions that she read in his eyes.

***
At the airport they stood , saying the final goodbyes , promising to wait till another favourite hello. They hugged , they kissed . With eyes numb , still managing to smile , she hid herself in his arms and each kiss that he planted on her forehead was a solemn reminder of their love, of their days together, the journeys, the laughs, the tears the new found relation that they had felt. From lovers to being the two best friends. Seeing each other in the messiest , craziest and the disgusted avatars.

She kept on looking at him till his last picture … she kept on stopping herself from crying wanting to turn back now . But couldn’t ,she just couldn’t. He came running through the doorway , saying what he always said to her with a smile …

“I love you baby. Take care of yourself and just keep smiling. I am always there with you.”

#Ammu
#toughgoodbyes

Posted from WordPress for Android

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