Why Losing My Path Has Given Me A Strange Freedom

 Awakening-to-the-Divine

Discipline,focus,a clear cut path and a strategy … how many times have we heard this as a perfect recipe for success. How many times have we been told not to walk a path that shows no light, that not just to do things aimlessly without thinking of consequences. Not everyone is a genius , not everyone always knows what they want in life,not everyone wants to be Mother Teresa or Abdul Kalam. Well, accept it , majority of us don’t know until a ripe old age what we wanna do in life.

Firstly who decides the parameters of success? The parents, the society that has a shared value and everyone is expected to adhere to that, the luxuries that are proclaimed to be achieved as a result of monetary assets or what we perceive to be success.

An IITian leaving a hotshot job and turning to photography or music is a success story, an inspirational one but an illiterate person doing the same is a struggler or even a fool. Who decides?

Who says that you need to study a subject in the college and marry it for the rest of your lives? Study law, become a lawyer. Study engineering, become an engineer. And its not that coercion from the society, what amuses me is the intensity with which things have been imprinted onto our minds that if we take a career shift, we feel guilty about doing it.We feel ostracized , so scared as to what will happen if we are not accepted by people who just don’t care about what we do except for our bank balance.

I graduated as a lawyer but I love to write. In my entire school life and my five years at the law school I have thought a lot about what I want to do, panicked a lot about not having a secure career, freaked out a lot about not graduating from a top notch college, had sleepless nights about not having that PERFECT JOB PROFILE. Despite the fact that I knew that I was far ahead of my peers in the matters of the mind and heart(not bragging but one knows his/her capabilities), despite always receiving subtle omens, reminders and compliments from everyone around me all saying the same ‘you are different’,I panicked not for my destination but for creating a path for the same. 

Money, status, prestige, impressions all these factors were my considerations to choose what I wanted to do. When people were enjoying I was studying frantically for an exam I didn’t plan to appear for the next 2 years. Yeah! That was me…Mad!

But all through this i knew as i have always known I am meant to do something great in this world, leave a legacy, enter the hall of fame… but most importantly this greatness, this legacy shall not be for anyone else other than my own self, my soul… that’s whom I am responsible for. How can i be a good friend, a good daughter, a lover, a sister , a good wife and a good mother when I can’t love myself enough, respect the glory of my existence and the purpose of my birth.

And I am glad I freed myself. I closed my eyes , wiped all traces of the paths I had created for a destination I didn’t know, placed my hand on my heart and just spoke to the inner me LET THE MAGIC BEGIN! And boy! was i amazed???? I was baffled at the mysterious ways in which the universe functions and the tremendous freedom that it gave me. I finished my law, deliberately flunked my LLM entrance examination because my voice said its not what I want to do now. I took up a job in an altogether new city with no one I knew and I was pleasantly surprised at how conditions started turning favorable towards me. My mom stood by me.

The one thing I promised myself was I WILL NEVER SET ANOTHER GOAL IN MY LIFE except one – LEARN AS MUCH AS I CAN AND BREAK ALL MY COMFORT ZONE. That has become my new mantra.

And so I am free. I am writing at a place I love at this point of time in my life. It sets me free, trains me to get disciplined to be able to write each day , something I shall be needing to be a good writer. Practically everyone is telling me not to opt for army as a future career but I want to do it to break my comfort zone and to learn and just to answer a simple question. Do I have it in me?? Don’t forget that exam I was to take up two years later. I wake up at 6 each day and manage to churn out 5 Hours a day to study for that and I don’t regret a single moment I spent studying for it. It makes me a wiser and informed person whether or not I clear the exam. 

This is amazing, this is beautiful, the freedom that it gives my mind to learn without the pressure of a goal and be able to enjoy the journey called life … the rest are just milestones that come in between. Taking one at a time

Along the woods I walked,

Into paths long known ,

The trodden ways, the fixed destination 

was all so dusty all so rotten,

And i glanced upwards to see the little birds that flew ,

Little they were but with dreams that were new ,

Dreams that were simple yet so difficult,

Dreams to be free, to think free ,

To live free, to die free,

And off they soared onto the paths that blurred,

I took off my shoes ,

My feet kissing the morning dew ,

And in no path lies my freedom that’s all i knew

-Athena/ambika

Advertisements

4 Comments Add yours

  1. nehamishra1519 says:

    Very well written. I can connect with each and every line. Life is good when its unpredictable and it becomes beautiful if we are ready to take up all the challenges and risk coming our way. Cheers to life!!! 🙂

    Like

    1. Thank you so much for taking out your precious time. It means a lot to me. You are my first commenter. lolzzz cheerssss

      Liked by 1 person

  2. pixietrumps says:

    The freedom of not being blind anymore
    The freedom to see all those rusted shackles bound…
    The freedom to find power within,
    to break free and fly into an undescribable infinite

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for the lovely post script

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s