HOW DO I LOOK – A SATIRE ON THE PARAMETERS OF ELEGANCE

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HOW DO I LOOK ??
© Athena coelho

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“oh god ! Not again”, she thought to herself .
It was yet again one of those dreaded shopping spree that made her question her very existence on this planet . Not because she was lazy ..umm .. Well that’s a bit of a reason too but mainly because she felt like a total fool while out shopping . Because it just somehow made her feel incompetent as a girl …a female specie .

A sexy beautiful dress , a perfect hairdo , a 24/7 perfectly made up eyes , sexy footwear that ‘gives u an edge’ , legs n arms like butter chicken 🍗 … That’s all the people she always gets surrounded by when she makes a visit to these fish markets .

Open shoe laces , tonnes of jackets (its still coold winter ..u see ) , wrapped up hair , unkempt brows n a blank mortified face … Hello ! That’s me … Athy n right there in front of me walks my only sweetheart …beautiful n all perfect …. “Maasi” (mom’s sister )

So the scene is set . She walks ahead with a purpose and an air of urgency around her and behind follows..me.. Like a lost puppy … Staring at the lanes turned hubs of feminist glitter , the dummies turned into an epitome of beautiful brides flashing those back breaking , nerve wrecking heavy ghagras n saaris , the hanging pieces of responsibility that are carried on our shoulders…those bags and off course the ‘tik tok tik tok ‘ high heels … How can I forget those ? Those pair of sharks that exude such impeccable arrogance of holding ur entire existence on a bloody ‘tip ‘ .
Huh … Anyways so here we go

Shop 1
Mission perfect jeans
Shopkeeper- there u go . Perfect for you .
Me – (ignoring him ) umm yeah well lemme try it on .

And the trial room! …is always as always a bloody nasty piece of ghetto … And first things first my mind starts activating .” Look out for hidden cams ! Remember all those tips you read on the internet “.
“ok , fine … Nothing found . Chuck it anyways . M gonna be smart enough not to show .”

“Annndddd the jeans!!! Nop … No ways . Looks like I have been wrapped in a plastic bag . ”
(next one please)
“too low … Whatt ??? Why cant they make Comfortable clothes for girls ” .

And the next one …
Too much a drag … “don’t fall down please ” .

I feel the man behind the counter givin me all nasty looks , perhaps reaching a judgement that this girl should be getting her pants stitched from a tailor . 😋😋

Ok ! So finally found a decent one . The one … Which can be a friend than a foe . Letting me run n work while I breathe .
Plus sparing me a chance to face more of such nasty men . Aah! Task one completed .

Mission 2
Grab a footwear

N this room with glasses all over , these pairs adorning the shelves like a piece of jewellery andddd I see the wicked gleam in my masi’s eyes .
“ahha , there she goes ” .
The shopaholic in her is woken up .

Sk – (a guy of 25-26) plz have a seat madam .
Hmm you have fair feet … Lemme see . … Yeahhh … This would go perfect for them .

And he brings a pair of heels that I swear are nothing short of Eiffel tower . I try wearin it . He immediately takes over and fits them onto my foot …. Fitting them less and caressing my feet more .

I glare at him like a hawk conveying Mr. Fetish … Just fuck off.

And my angel n devil wake up again …
Devil – “wow , look at that. .. U gonna look so tall n sexy in that …. Go ahead girl ! Empty your wallet n buy it ”
Angel – (I don’t think he is angel ) “are you mad . Look at the price . You aren’t earning n so have no right to splurge n drain your folks’ money . Shut it n stop .”

N finally ME (lookin at myself in the mirror ) – athy ! Forget it . Never ever would you b able to walk in those . Do you want to fracture your ankle ?? Or look like a person walkin on an artificial limb ???

Nooooo Noooo

And there comes a nudge from massi …
“its beautiful honey , go ahead ” .

And I stand up … Walk up to the shoes section … Pick up my regular running sports shoes and pay the bill .

The following 5 minutes I am at a mental debate with myself about my decision and finally I reach the conclusion that …
Shoes would keep my feet warm and protect them from harsh sunlight keeping them fair as ever .
Yay yay …. The loser who can’t afford and wear heels winsssss .

Whaooo … And she grabs my arms and drags me onto a new world . Paints and polishes for everyone . The lipsticks , the mascaras , the blushes, the foundations , the ‘god knows what’ …. And all the other sexy , fancy ‘pieces ‘ of garments that hide your privacy and that guy’s matinee fantasies … (yeah c’mon we know you do) .

And the shopkeeper….oh boy ! Was he lucky ??? Oh yeah …damn lucky … With all of em shouting at him their dimensions .

And a look of peculiar expressions he gave me and that was enough for me to step outside the shop .
With all the paints and polishes purchased she asked me , ” do you want anything honey ” . And that dreaded question like always seems like a tough sum on calculus .
(inner me at work )
” who buys this junk to use everyday . At least not a person like me who cares for her skin and lets it breatheeeeee ”
And what’s the point I look like a vampire already . Its sickkk … This obsession with whitening creams .

Umm well someone loves my eyes . So perhaps a ‘kajal’ .
Aah chuck it .. He says i am cutest without that too

“yeahh maasi , I want you . Plz come soon . M hungry . Lets grab a bite . ”

She comes … I look at my bags …
All the same …
As always . The same me .
I kiss her on her cheeks . Feel the sunshine on mine n say to her , ” I love you Sweety ” .

p.s – its 11 at night . I am sitting idle and draggin along my news feed and admiring (in awe) the beautiful n pretty dresses that these girls wear n I make a mental note ” I guess I should try that ”
© Athena
http://www.profanespirituality.blogspot.in

https://m.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1517494311834425&amp%3Brefid=17

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2 Comments Add yours

  1. pixietrumps says:

    Great post!
    btw, I so agree….. sometime, somewhere, something….. 😛

    Liked by 1 person

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